#44 [Journey to Scratch] You Can’t Change Unless You Change

The Golf Hypnotherapist (00:03.156)

I’ve been waiting more than 30 years to confidently share this, to say this. Are you ready? How about them Redskins? Woo! What a game yesterday. Welcome, welcome, welcome. I know I’m completely off track and I’m gonna try not to go on a tangent, but today is Monday, October 28th, and we are still digesting the aftermath of that incredible

indescribable Hail Mary to win the game for the Redskins to beat the Bears. Jaden Daniels stepping up to the plate to deliver. What an incredible game. And if you are a football fan, you’ve witnessed the suffering, the horrendous ownership Redskins fans have had to endure for nearly the last three decades. New owner, new era, new coaching staff, new quarterback, new vibe, culture, energy.

It’s been a long time coming. I can’t contain my excitement. And that was what I felt to be the most organic start to today’s episode. But Redskins and NFL football aside, welcome back to another episode of the Scratch Golfers Mindset podcast. I’m your host, Paul Salter, the golf hypnotherapist, and I’m gonna drop a little sneak peek nugget for you. On Saturday, January 25th,

Don’t worry, it’s a day with no college football, a day with no NFL playoffs. We are hosting the first ever mental game of golf summit. It will be me and about five already confirmed potentially six of the top mindset coach and psychologist sports performance coaches in the golf niches such as Josh Nichols, Michael Leonard.

Matt Stillwell, Bo Watson and Shannon Shusky all confirmed speakers collectively coming together to deliver a day of mental game strategy framework and concept discussion to accomplish one goal. Provide you with all that you need to make playing to your potential a habit. More details to come, but mark your calendar. It’s going to be a

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an event unlike anything you’ve seen and experienced bringing again some of the best minds and coaches in the mental game of golf space together to help you make playing to your potential a habit. Saturday, January 25. Stay tuned. I will get all of the event details and information finalized in the next week or so and make sure that I don’t stop talking about it until that day arrives.

Well, today’s Tuesday, if you’re listening to this or regardless, this is the episode where I recap my own journey to scratch. And I’m gonna talk about how, for whatever reason, I seem to be a magnet for swing advice on the range, which at some point, maybe already it’s becoming a little obnoxious to say the least. I’ll get into that. I’ll get into why one of my tattoos is becoming more prevalent and prominent than ever before.

related to my game of golf, I’m going to discuss struggling to find an identity that blends my competitive fire with a socialization aspect of golf and this innate desire to be liked and loved. And we’re also going to talk about for whatever reason why I have made this subtle shift, the subtle regression to becoming overly focused on just trying to fucking hit the ball versus confidently swinging

my swing through the ball, trusting my swing. So we’ve got a lot to unpack. And this podcast comes off of the precipice of two frustrating and disappointing rounds to say the least. And really the round I want to focus on is this past Friday.

I played 18 with a friend and an actual client of mine. This is the first time I’ve played with one of my coaching clients. It was such an exciting and enjoyable experience. She was visiting in town. She’s a great golfer herself. And not only did we have a wonderful time, she played not from the ladies’ tees, we decided to play from the white tees. And she played incredible. She beat me. And I learned a tremendous amount about her, myself.

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you know, personally, professionally and the golf game. It was a wonderful experience. And I struggled to dial in my focus. I struggled to find, I don’t even know if balance is the right word, but how could I really collect my emotions, my focus and intention and create that strategic tunnel vision I’ve talked so much about?

while also simultaneously, I was playing host in a way, or maybe that was the expectation and subconscious pressure I put on myself to really wear that professional hat and to host a great round of golf here at my local course with a dear client and friend. I was entertaining. I wanted to ensure she had a great time. I wanted to get to know her even more, away from that.

that box of professionalism and coaching where we could just really get to enjoy each other’s company, as well as get to enjoy the company of the third person we were paired with. So there was a lot of not competing or conflicting intentions present, but there was poor management of each of them from my perspective that ultimately translated to beautiful shot, beautiful shot, top shot, shank shot, beautiful shot, top shot, shank shot, out of bounds.

It was just a collection of the good, the bad and ugly. I will tell you this. I putted out of my fucking mind. had 28 putts and still shot a 98. Disappointment to say the least. I could not control myself off the tee box. I was out of bounds again. It felt like I regressed significantly in that department.

I topped far too many shots and I care to admit, which is just a by-product of lack of focus and over swinging and just, yeah, lack of focus is really the big thing there. My short game incredible. I chipped so many to within less than five feet. Again, short game and putting wow. Be blew my mind. But most of the time those putts were to save bogey and double bogey. had a handful of triple bogeys.

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It was a rough round to say the least. And it really was eye opening to me as much as I enjoyed myself. There was a deep level of frustration. I think we could also call it a little bit of anger and disappointment in myself. It’s almost like that classic case of like, know better. I’m capable of much better. And it just didn’t come together for me. And if I’m being honest,

I ruminated a little bit. Come Saturday, I was still thinking about it. That’s an understatement. I was really thinking about it. spent 30 minutes journaling about it on Saturday morning, voicing my frustration and disappointment with myself, trying to unpack what’s been going on the last couple of weeks. And I kept coming back to a quote I love, a quote.

that I value and respect so much it’s literally tattooed on my wrist. And that quote is, can’t change unless you change. And as I zoomed out with a 30,000 foot view of non-judgmental curiosity on my game the last 30 days, nothing’s changed. Yes, I have practiced. Yes, I have played both consistently. Yet,

There’s been no intention in my practice. I lack specific drills or areas of intention to really drill technique in areas of either my swing or a specific aspect of the game. It’s hitting in my backyard purely for feel and rhythm and flow. And I’ve had some really good practice sessions. It’s

hitting on the range where, you know, in my backyard, I just hit into a net. It’s purely feel and the range I can actually get that immediate feedback, seeing the flight path of my ball. And I think this lack of intention has translated to a little bit of mental laziness, knowing I need to show up and showing up consistently, but lacking a plan, lacking preparation. And everything I’ve done to date has gotten me to where I am now. I’ve broken 90 once.

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I’ve shot in low and mid 90s from blues.

And I still feel I’m vastly underperforming. My technique will always have opportunity for growth. And I know that. And really the one gaping hole in technique that I’ve not even ever had a true formal lesson on is driver. And that’s the, that’s the priority on this Friday where I have my next lesson and we’ll talk about that. But really it’s how and what needs to be done to make playing to my potential a habit. And really right now, the biggest or rather the lowest hanging fruit.

of potential and opportunity for me to progress is minimization of mistakes. I have the skill in the game right now to shoot in the eighties consistently. It’s the mistakes, it’s the OBs and the top shots, the over swinging that are costing me significantly eight, 10, 12 strokes per round. So.

I can’t change unless I change. And for me, that change is in continuing to do my work to slow down. I’ve noticed a little bit of these old habits, this false sense of urgency, this false sense of needing to impress by swinging harder, creep up when playing from blue, when playing with strangers, when playing with clients. So working on that well aware and I’ll pair that awareness with action, of course.

I’m gonna drill in the technique, because I still have plenty of technique work on my core swing, but really on the driver, I need to get that confidence on the tee box up significantly again, keep the ball in play. And that’s where I’m at. But the biggest addition moving forward is gonna be bringing more intentionality to my practice sessions. And I will lean on my coach for that to get specific drills. I will slow down and be more intentional in quality shots versus hitting as many balls as I can.

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And I will also lean on some of my peers and mentors in the golf, a golf space to get specific practice drills and ideas to bring more focus and intention to my practice sessions. And that’s where I’m at. And I’m using this period of frustration as a catalyst for growth that has already fueled action, thinking outside my normal box and really operating with the understanding and acceptance of what got me here to this point won’t keep me here. I need to keep

upgrading, fine tuning and adjusting to push further and to score lower. And that’s the intention as to where we’re going. So we’ve got a new pack of lessons coming up again, Friday, this Friday, November 1st is the next lesson, assuming the little guy doesn’t come into this world anytime around then or before then. And again, we’re going to hammer driver technique, building confidence in technique. And really what I’m hoping to achieve or not hoping I will achieve by the time I finish this lesson is

understanding of the technique and the fundamentals, the subtle shifts hitting driver versus hitting at any other club. But also I need to feel empowered diagnosing when I slice the ball or pull the ball off the tee, what went wrong? Where do I need to bring awareness and focus to so I can troubleshoot and coach myself on the fly? I will also glean a handful of practice drills and technique aspects that I can work on and drill myself from my coach so that I can continue to do that.

Outside of that, I mentioned this earlier and I think it’s worth pivoting back to is this is struggling to find my identity as of late. And it’s a good opportunity for me to review my golf confidence identity statement here. And what I’m gleaning and I have an imagination you may struggle with this in some capacity too is.

It’s not so much that underlying fear we all possess of being judged, abandoned and rejected, wanting to belong to our tribe, not wanting to outshine our fellow playing partners too much. It’s just how do I balance fun and socialization with just being locked the fuck in? And it’s been a long time since I’ve been in this competitive of a realm. You know, the last real competitive experience for me

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was competitive powerlifting and a completely unique beast compared to golf to say the least. And it was a struggle for me to build friendships and camaraderie on meat day. And I gave zero fucks. I was so locked into executing those nine attempts with as much weight on my back, on the bar or beneath me to pull. And

In the game of golf, there are so many additional elements and pursuits at play. You’re building friendships, relationships, whether personally friendly or professionally here. And sometimes there’s also the opportunity just to simply lead by example, like, fuck, like that’s what a composed, calm and confident demeanor and attitude look like. I crave to be that role model. So locked in to lead with a quiet confidence of and focus.

And I haven’t done a good job dissecting and ultimately creating that. Because when I have the confidence and conviction and peace of mind in that category, there’s a deep sense of trust that is cultivated. And that allows or creates a greater sense of ease and effortlessness, building connections, communicating, conversing. And that collectively makes the entire experience more enjoyable. And I often come back to this quote by Ed Milet that I love.

That is, winning is more fun than fun is fun. And for me, winning in this regard right now is playing to what I am capable of playing, scoring to what I know I am capable of scoring, playing to my potential, minimizing the lack of focus related mistakes, the over swinging related mistakes.

and I’m excited about the opportunity and the challenge that awaits. One other point I mentioned in the brief intro of this episode was I just seem to be a magnet for swing advice. And I mentioned how that’s literally how I found my current coach now through unsolicited swing advice. Yet again, on the range, I’m actually hitting the ball fairly well, fairly consistent. And just the guy next to me, I don’t know if I have a welcoming positive vibe. He just was like, hey man, I’ve been playing a long time. I noticed, you maybe you could try this and it’s…

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Thanks but no thanks. Yes, be polite. It’s just a funny dynamic how helpful golfers want to be, especially when they see young golfers or golfers that are early in their journey compared to where they are. And I want to be kind and sponge like and open minded. Yet you and I both know it’s so easy to fixate on 15 different.

or 15,000 different swing thoughts like, where do you draw the hard line? So it was an interesting experience just navigating this incredibly friendly gentleman, much older guy who actually, you know, through conversation we learned he actually knows my coach Melvin. So it was a great conversation. And it’s really just on me I recognize to, you know, even if I’m going to take the moment to be kind and to hear him out, even though I have the option to just say no, thank you, I’m good. I got my focuses.

I can always put up that mental wall of deflecting what it is someone may be trying to share to focus on what I know I need to work on. you know, grab that, put a pin in it and resume it later, digest it later away from that range session or after I’ve executed whatever my intention and practice drills are for the day. Moving forward, I mentioned I have a lesson coming up.

Don’t know what November holds. The little guy is gonna be here any minute, any day now. I do have a round planned for Saturday and perhaps nine on Monday. After that, it’s one day, one hour at a time. The work won’t stop. We will continue to dial in cultivating, crafting this updated identity that is going to allow me, empower me to play to my potential while getting intentional, diligent repetitions in.

throughout each individual practice session. And that is where I’m at. And I’m excited. We’re gonna finish this year strong and come the new year, competitive golf is the priority on the horizon as I continue my journey to scratch. And I thank you so much for listening. I continue to just thoroughly enjoy the conversations I have with so many of you on Instagram, on Twitter, through the DM. So thank you so much.

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for the support, the wisdom, the insight, the helpful pieces of information you’ve shared. It really means a lot to me and I look forward to the day where you’re in Tampa or I am in your home city and we get to play a round of golf together, which is my reminder if you’re on or if you’re rather yeah, if you’re on the west coast of Florida, if you’re in and around the Tampa St. Pete Clearwater area, Orlando even reach out, say hi, let’s see if we can get around on the calendar together. I know we’ll have a lot of fun.

Well, thank you so much for listening. Keep your eyes and ears posted for the official announcement of the mental game of golf summit coming to you on Saturday, January 25th. Have a fantastic week of intentional deliberate practice and play and I’ll catch you in the next episode.