#21: The Power of Alter Egos and Creating Your Golf Identity

Episode Introduction and Summary
Hey fellow golfer, or should I say fellow golf addict! Welcome back to The Scratch Golfer’s Mindset Podcast. I’m Paul Salter, The Golf Hypnotherapist, and today we’re diving into the art of crafting your golf identity.
In this episode, we explore:
- The power of creating an alter ego to transform your game, inspired by examples like Beyoncé and Eminem.
- Why it’s essential to ask yourself, “Who do I need to become to break 90?”
- How to reverse engineer your self-talk, beliefs, actions, and habits to align with your identity as a scratch golfer.
I share insights from my own journey of fine-tuning my golf mindset and reveal my golf identity statement that keeps me focused and driven on the course.
If you want to break through mental barriers and start playing the best golf of your life, this episode is packed with actionable strategies for creating the golfer you want to be.
P.S. If you’re interested in learning more about how mindset coaching and hypnotherapy can help you get unstuck from the proverbial bunker of poor performance on the course and in your business, click here to schedule a coaching discovery call with me.
Key Points:
- To achieve your golfing goals, you need to become the person who is capable of achieving them.
- Creating an alter ego can help you express different aspects of your golfing identity.
- Your self-talk, beliefs, actions, and results shape your identity.
- Write down a clear and specific golfing identity statement that reflects the person you want to become on the golf course.
- Align your actions and decisions with your golfing identity to achieve your goals.
Key Quotes:
- “Who do you need to become to break 90? Who do you need to become to break 80, to shoot scratch?”
- “Who do you need to become to achieve said goal?”
- “Did you know that Beyonce has an incredibly strong religious upbringing?”
- “I show up with a beginner’s mindset really as a student of the game to absorb and learn as much as I can from these individuals.”
- “The sum of your results influences your identity. The sum of the decisions you make and the actions you take influence your results. It’s the collection of your beliefs that influence the actions and decisions you make.”
- “And it is your self -talk, which is composed of both your word choice and your thoughts that eventually go on to shape your beliefs.”
- “And if we go from the very core, now moving bottom to top of piece of paper, it’s your self -talk, which is composed of your word choice and thoughts that influence your beliefs, which influence your actions and decisions, ultimately shaping your results and creating your identity.”
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Time Stamps:
- 00:00: Introduction and Gratitude
- 03:49: Becoming the Golfer You Need to Be
- 09:05: The Power of Alter Egos in Golf
- 13:42: Understanding the Components of Identity
- 19:43: Crafting Your Golfing Identity Statement
- 28:32: Aligning Your Actions with Your Golfing Identity
Transcript:
Paul Salter | The Golf Hypnotherapist (00:02.732)
Hey fellow golfer, or should I say fellow golf addict. Welcome back to another episode of the Scratch Golfers Mindset podcast. I’m your host, the golf hypnotherapist, Paul Salter, and I want to begin today’s episode with a simple message. Thank you. For you new listeners, for you OG listeners from the very beginning, thank you so much for consistently listening to the show.
for leaving ratings, reviews, and continuously sharing and supporting the show. I have experienced a significant uptick in followers, listeners, overall show growth the past couple of weeks, and I owe all of that to you. It has been such a fun journey for me to create this podcast, to vulnerably share and showcase my journey. If you remember,
back in, I don’t know, the second or third episode I led with, I just shot a 65 and there were quite a handful of mulligans in that 65. And here we are today, 20 something episodes in, and to be frank, really just getting started. Thank you. Thank you for your support. Thank you for continuing to listen. Thank you for the reviews and ratings if you’ve taken the time to leave one. And thank you for sharing the show.
I sincerely appreciate it. If you’re ever in the Tampa Bay area, reach out, let me know, let’s get around and together. I’m happy to do so. Would love the opportunity to meet you, learn from you and play of course this great game of golf. All right, with that said, buckle up. We’ve got a lot to cover in today’s episode. We’re gonna begin to ultimately deconstruct and then recreate your golf identity.
We’re going to invite in the concept of an alter ego. We’re going to talk about Beyonce and Lady Gaga. We’re going to talk about Slim Shady. I’m going to give you all of my notes and journaling revolving around my golf identity that I’ve literally crafted and clarified this week. And we’re going to begin with a story and example from my mentor. Though the one reminder I want to share
Paul Salter | The Golf Hypnotherapist (02:25.602)
is in episode 20, I began to allude to after two rough rounds of 18 over the weekend that I was struggling to really feel like I had an identity as a golfer. I had an identity on the golf course. And lo and behold, divine timing, if you will, I recorded what might be the most powerful episode of the show to date.
with a gentleman by the name of Dr. Jason Nowetzki. If you are a listener of Chasing Scratch, you may be very familiar with him and his work. We talked a lot about identity, creating an identity statement. You’re gonna hear mine later on in this episode. So that episode won’t come out until late August. I believe it’ll end up being episode 27. This is 21. So about three weeks from now,
Mark your calendar. That is an episode you will not want to miss. It’s an episode you will want to miss twice. Episode 20, this past episode, again, gives you a good foundational understanding of kind of the concept of golf identity, where, how, and why I was struggling. And really that served as the catalyst for today’s episode. And I want to begin diving into this topic with both a question and a
And the question, and this in my personal and professional experience has proven to be one of the most powerful and productive questions I can ask either myself or my coaching clients. Who do you need to become to break 90? Who do you need to become to break 80, to shoot scratch?
The ultimate core question being who do you need to become to achieve blank? One of my mentors, three potentially four years ago, he shared a story with me that helped illustrate the importance of this question. And the way he framed it was actually a personal story where he himself was walking alongside the beach in California with his mentor.
Paul Salter | The Golf Hypnotherapist (04:41.856)
and they saw a newly constructed house that was finishing the final touches of development, getting the aesthetics all set up, and they had walked this path before together and begun to see this process unfold from early on in the beginning to this nearly finished product. And these are two gentlemen who are incredibly wealthy. I mean, we’re talking multiple seven -figure businesses and multiple of them. And my mentor proceeds to tell me
that he’s having this conversation beginning to run the numbers aloud with his mentor about what it takes to purchase this house. The house is listed at 25 million. If you put 20 % down, the mortgage is this, the interest rate is that. And ultimately mathematically modeling, this is what it takes to purchase and reside in this $25 million home.
My mentor was beginning to digest the numbers and starting to apply it through the lens of his own business and financial situation, of articulating aloud how he can make it work. And as his mentor continued to patiently listen to him, he reached a point and he said to my mentor, you’re spot on, but you’re missing the point of this conversation. It’s simple.
to do the math or understand the journey that needs to be taken, the path that needs to be walked to purchase this home. But the real question is, who is the person that has the 25 million to purchase this home? Logically, technically, in an X is an O standpoint,
It’s very simple to understand what needs to happen, how much money you need, how you can acquire and accrue that money to purchase this home, to put the down payment and to successfully make every mortgage payment. But the real core of the matter is who do you need to become? Who is the identity, the personality, the characteristics of the individual with that specific amount of wealth to purchase this home?
Paul Salter | The Golf Hypnotherapist (06:54.018)
And it spawned a very valuable teaching point that inevitably my mentor went along to pass on to me and the many others he’s worked with, which begs us to ask the question when we are aspiring to achieve a goal, in our case, it’s break 90, break 80, and eventually become a scratch golfer. Let’s be candid. Thousands upon thousands of people have walked that
and achieved that goal. There is a blueprint and we’ll talk more about that later on. You can go to Google and figure out the steps that these successful individuals have taken to achieve this goal. But the more important question that needs to be addressed first is who do you need to become to achieve your goal of becoming a scratch golfer? Who is that individual?
How does he speak to and about himself? What are his actions, his habits, his non -negotiable behaviors? What does he believe about himself? What he’s worthy of, deserving of and capable? What does he believe about life, about other people, about the game of golf, about the difference between what’s fair and unfair, controllable and uncontrollable? What do his actions say about himself? How does he interact with others?
What do other people say about him? What are his standards, his values, his processes? Who is this individual? And as you listen to what I’m sharing with you, I want you to continue to digest and filter the content I share in this episode, not only through the lens of who do you need to become to achieve your particular golf goal, but who do you need to become to achieve your business
your marriage and relationship goals, your parenting and family goals, and whatever other leadership or teamwork goals you might have. There’s a blueprint to achieve everything, a blueprint to achieve losing 30 pounds and keeping it off, to get a 300 pound bench press, a 300 yard drive, to become a scratch golfer. But the real question
Paul Salter | The Golf Hypnotherapist (09:04.918)
Who do you need to become to achieve said goal? Because the truth is, although there’s a simple blueprint that many individuals have followed, executed, and used to achieve said goal, you need to have the characteristics, the non -negotiables in your self -talk, beliefs and behaviors to see this process through until the end so that you can achieve this goal.
What I find incredibly fascinating, and we’re gonna break down the core components of identity here, is just how powerful it can be to get incredibly clear on the person you need to become and allow that to be your guiding light, your Northern Star, if you will, to filter the beliefs you hold onto and let go of.
the words you use to speak to and about yourself and the behaviors and decisions you make and do not make so that they are in alignment or are congruent with that identity. And there’s a really cool concept out there known as the alter ego. You’ve likely heard of it in some capacity and alter ego is really defined as a second self or a different version of yourself.
And the reason I bring this up is because you’ve heard me talk before, and there will likely be a full episode about this, how at the end of the day, the core of who you are, how you let or take back control of emotions that attempt to hijack the driver’s seat of your decision making, how you manage the, what’s the word I’m looking for? The origin and ultimately the downstream effect of some of these
mental mindset programs that exist, some of which may be outdated, others which may actually serve you. And it can be difficult to separate who you are as an individual versus who you are on and off the golf course. Enter the alter ego. The alter ego is a powerful tool that when used through a creative lens
Paul Salter | The Golf Hypnotherapist (11:21.9)
cultivate an identity, a person, a version of you that you wish to step into effortlessly at the flip of a switch. It can be an invaluable and powerful tool to help you show up as a completely different person on the golf course. And allow me to give you a couple simple examples before sharing some famous examples you may recognize. Perhaps for example, as you get to know me,
I’m a pretty chill, easy going guy. I like to have fun. I like to connect and converse with people. And although I am competitive, I don’t outwardly express that competitive, arrogant, overly confident cocky, want to kill and destroy you in every sporting or competitive endeavor from the onset. I slowly wait to get to know you before I kind of let that side of me
But when I step on the golf course or when I step in a business like setting, I flip a switch. I dig deep and lead with that competition. I dial in another level of confidence. This is something I do when I lead in my public speaking, my small group workshops and coaching seminars. I flip a switch. The public speaking stage version you see of me, although it’s
He’s a little bit different. He’s got a swag, a vibe and energy, just an indescribable, quiet confidence about him. It’s curious, it’s attractive. It makes you want to lean in and listen and hang on every word he says. And I’ve created that. And I’m in the process of trying to find and create this alter ego, this identity on the golf course too. But it’s a tool. And some of the most successful people use this tool where they need
wear different hats or step into different roles that maybe their natural default state isn’t extroverted, communicative, outgoing, inspirational and excited. But in order to get to where they need to go, they create this new identity, this alter ego that allows them to flip a switch and step into that role for a succinct period of time. And one of the best examples of this that you may not be aware
Paul Salter | The Golf Hypnotherapist (13:41.78)
is Beyonce. Did you know that Beyonce has an incredibly strong religious upbringing? And if you know anything about bootylicious Beyonce and Destiny’s Child, well, you may be very quick to recognize, wait a second, there is some provocative language, all things sex appeal, ass shaking, and then
There seems to be a bit of an incongruency between the Beyonce we see and this choir singing little girl so closely connected and deeply in love with her church and her faith. Well, enter Sasha Fierce. Sasha Fierce is Beyonce’s extroverted alter ego. She created this alter ego, this second identity as a way to express herself freely without
guilt and shame while performing these suggestive, provocative lyrics and ultimately these sexy bootylicious dance moves that really conflicted with her core religious beliefs. But she had a goal in her performance career, in her singing and vocal career. And she knew how she was at her core likely wasn’t the path, the identity that was going to allow her to unleash all of the depth of her talent and achieve that goal.
Again, enter Sasha Fierce. We see Eminem. You know Eminem, but you also know Slim Shady, who is Em’s violent alter ego. He uses as a way to express his anger, to talk about his childhood, his tough experiences, all things related to drug, to sexual abuse, to murder, and everything in between. That’s Slim Shady’s doing. It’s his own separate identity,
outlet to express these violent, angry emotions. And the list goes on and on. Nicki Minaj has several alter egos, Lady Gaga’s alter ego. And all of these are secondary identities that cultivate different skills for specific periods of times to achieve specific goals. And in the remainder of today’s podcast, I want to break
Paul Salter | The Golf Hypnotherapist (15:56.502)
the constituent parts of an identity and empower you with a framework, suggestions and strategies, and then an example of how you can use this to create a golfing identity that plays to your strengths and gives you a creative, safe outlet to express all of the skills and characteristics you know align with what is necessary to play to your potential.
and buckle up. This is going to be a great fun ride. I’m excited to share my personal work on this as
Now with that said, let’s break down what goes into an identity. So I know you’re listening, but if you think of identity, and I’m doing a lot of hand motions here on video, which eventually these will get posted onto YouTube, you’ll have an opportunity to watch them. Identity is our top of the piece of paper umbrella term. Your identity consists of, and I’m working in reverse order, so it’s top down, eventually getting to the core.
The sum of your results influences your identity. The sum of the decisions you make and the actions you take influence your results. It’s the collection of your beliefs that influence the actions and decisions you make. And it is your self -talk, which is composed of both your word choice and your thoughts that eventually go on to shape your beliefs.
And if we go from the very core, now moving bottom to top of piece of paper, it’s your self -talk, which is composed of your word choice and thoughts that influence your beliefs, which influence your actions and decisions, ultimately shaping your results and creating your identity.
Paul Salter | The Golf Hypnotherapist (17:50.892)
Fun fact, tomorrow, I believe it will be Friday, August 9th, the entire More Pars Than Bogies newsletter is dedicated to choosing your words wisely and breaking down just how destructive these words can be. mean, sticks and stones may break your bones, words may leave you ending up with a broken club. So choose your words wisely. Now, we’ve got each of these
elements of your identity. And the exercise I’m going to challenge you to really listen in on, take notes and execute is really beginning to address each of these elements individually through the lens of going back to the very first point of this podcast, who do I need to become? Who is the version of me that is a scratch golfer? How does he speak to himself? What are the words he uses? What are
thoughts he gives time, energy, emotion, and attention to and start to really write down a couple bullet points or examples of self -talking thoughts that you know this best version of you speaks and thinks on a daily basis. What is this best version of you, this scratch golfer? Who do you need to become? What do the beliefs he holds look, feel, and sound like? What does he believe about himself?
about the game of golf, about others and about life. What are his non -negotiable actions, his habits, his daily routines that allow him to achieve this goal? And obviously this in total will shape his results and create his identity. So literally in a step wise fashion, you want to get really clear on what are some of the words he uses.
How does he speak to himself? What does he think about himself? How does he respond and think after a mistake, a poor shot, a bad hole, a bad round? What does he believe about his ability? Is he worthy, deserving, and capable of achieving his goal? And ultimately, what are the actions he takes, the decisions he makes, the actions he does not take, what he says no to, the decisions he does not
Paul Salter | The Golf Hypnotherapist (20:12.716)
that go hand in hand with influencing his results, consistently shooting par, being the goal for me, and therefore his identity. And when you do all of this, you are ultimately able to begin putting this together to write a few short sentences to craft what is now known in my vernacular, thanks to Dr. Nowetzki, as an identity statement.
And you can go even further. And I did do this and I’ll share you an example here shortly and get incredibly clear about what it is you value specifically through the lens of the game of golf. What are your standards in the game of golf? The things and the aspects of the game, your preparation and your relationship with golf that you will not compromise on. These further help build a strong foundation
to cultivate your identity upon. And I really like to go even deeper into setting non -negotiables. I’m a big believer on being clear on not only the goals you wish to achieve, which next episode I’m gonna do my full goal breakdown and how the exact blueprint and roadmap, I will break 90 by November 13th. And when that episode comes out, I’ll be between I think 95 and 100 days from making that happen. So that’ll be fun. But your actions need to align with your goals.
So allow me to share an example of, I’m literally reading from my journal right now, and I’m doing my best to keep it organized, because my journal’s a little all over the place. But when it comes to self -talk, you my self -talk, especially as a scratch golfer, a goal that I have not achieved yet, boom, already paying attention to my word choice, yet, including the word yet, is indicative that although I’m not quite where I want to be,
on the right path. going there and I will get there. So my self talk is infused with a deep sense of belief, a deep sense of positivity, hope and optimism. It’s rooted in patience. I am my biggest cheerleader supporter and fan. I pick myself up. I have a positive relationship with myself. Even when I shank one out of bounds or end up in the water, I remain positive, patient.
Paul Salter | The Golf Hypnotherapist (22:35.744)
hopeful and optimistic with myself and I let my words really align and back up that belief and sentiment. I don’t use the word but to rob myself to undercut or take away from my successes, wins or highlights. I don’t speak in absolutes using words like always, never or every time because that’s not true. I’m able to use my word choice to lift me up and as a result,
because words are literally the building blocks of your mental sentences, otherwise known as your thoughts. My thoughts are transformed. They’re positive, they’re optimistic, they’re inspirational, they’re upbeat, they’re encouraging. And that’s really important, especially when it comes to not only fostering a growth mindset, but also something Dr. Nowetzki and I talked about on that podcast is really honing in on a neutral mindset.
because sometimes you’re gonna be very quick to wanna go to a dark place out of frustration, anger, shame, guilt, regret, disappointment. And flipping the switch immediately to something positive, overly happy and joyful might be counterproductive. So learning to live in the gray area, this neutral mindset can be a very powerful place to be. In fact, learning to grow more comfortable spending time here can become one of your hidden superpowers.
So then when it comes to my beliefs, I absolutely believe I am deserving, worthy and capable of achieving the goal of becoming a scratch golfer. And how I reinforce that belief is with past evidence and characteristics of who I am and what I wish to stand for and embody. This is where we start inviting in standards and values. Nobody’s going to outwork me. I am very proud of my work ethic, my holistic work ethic. I’m
short sighting or short changing rather any aspects of the game. There’s a big focus obviously on the mental and emotional part, but every aspect of the technical game, I am such a student, a sponge and a learner of the game right now because I’m coming in pretty blank, pretty young, pretty naive on the technical aspect of the game. And I’m approaching all of this with a beginner’s mindset, something I do and I take great pride in when I have these expert guests on the podcast.
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I show up with a beginner’s mindset really as a student of the game to absorb and learn as much as I can from these individuals. jokingly said this before, even though I’m serious, it’s a selfish endeavor. I get to learn and get to share that information with you. But first and foremost, I’m asking questions to help me improve my game as well, because it allows me to further digest, relate, and then package it and teach and share it with you as well. It’s truly a win -win.
win situation. So I’ve got this work ethic. I’ve got this beginner’s mindset. I’ve got a resounding belief in myself. I have several past examples in my life where I have shown if I choose a goal clearly, I attach an emotional why to it, which we’ll talk about in a later episode. I create a plan and I ruthlessly and relentlessly stick to the
success and achievement comes. So I know I’m capable of doing hard things, things that people said, yeah, right, you’ll never accomplish. And I use that as fuel. So I use the opinions and the judgments of others as fuel. It fuels my work ethic. It helps me lean into even more discomfort during those rocky, challenging, frustrating times. I also add into my golf identity another characteristic here. I’m fucking physically strong.
I’ve got a competitive power lifting and bodybuilding background and I am taking it upon myself to seek the right help from TPI certified fitness coaches and getting the right swing coaches on board to allow me to harness the raw potential and strength I have so that I can maximize the potential of my body. The decades I put in the gym when it comes to my golf swing on the course, I want to take a fucking aggressive, strong approach. I want to be
absolutely ripping it off the tee, smashing my irons so that when someone sees or asks me how long I hit a certain club, they pause, they hesitate for a second. Wait, really, you hit it how far? Wait, how far do you hit your three wood? That’s where I’m really pushing my identity. And that means my work ethic in the gym, a diligent approach to getting the right coaching, the right exercises, the stretching, the mobility, the core work, and the strength, heavy lifting.
Paul Salter | The Golf Hypnotherapist (27:08.29)
I am prioritizing all of that because it shapes my identity wanting to become this aggressive, strong golfer that allows this to ultimately serve as a psychological mental edge as well. Because my goal, not only in becoming a scratch golfer is I want to compete here locally and regionally. And I want there to be an element of intimidation. I want to go to psychological war with my opponents in a fun, friendly, enjoyable way. But again, in my mind, I want to absolutely
you. So my actions are in alignment with this identity, this alter ego I am creating. another couple characteristics that I wrote down is confident, prepared. I’m the guy with the cooler. I have a background as a high performance dietitian. I’ve got the food, I’ve got the fluids, I’ve got the electrolytes, I’ve got the nutrition plan dialed in pre, during and after. I am focused, my pre shot routine is ruthlessly executed. And I am
competitive. I bring a winning mindset, really reminding myself every single day before every round. The quote I have shared before by Mr. Ed Mylett when talking with Tim Grover, who’s written two fantastic books, both relentless and winning. And that quote is, winning is more fun than fun is fun. So this is me.
And this is kind of my example of how I’ve been putting together my golf identity and through lots of notes and multiple days of journaling. Ultimately, I use this to write a handful of sentences that describes my golf identity that I’m reading every single morning to further ingrain as I craft this ultra ego. And the statement that I came up with is as follows. I play confident golf.
I arrive for each round prepared and with a plan. I find great fun competing with myself and others, and I enjoy achieving the goals I set for my round. I trust every aspect of my game, especially what I’ve been working on most lately. I maintain a state of equanimity, clear -headedness, and focus during the round while also enjoying the company of my playing
Paul Salter | The Golf Hypnotherapist (29:25.386)
I take an aggressive attitude and approach to my course plan and always remember that the next shot is the most important shot. I’m grateful for all the game of golf teaches me and the people it connects me with. And this is kind of a brief synopsis of the golf identity that I have created and will continue to fine tune, upgrade and optimize over the coming months and years. And I’m hopeful that you found this framework. Some of these
thought patterns and these examples, powerful and encouraging to help you show up as the golfer you both want to and are capable of being consistently on the course. And again, a lot of this was born out of my last weekend playing where I felt inconsistent in both self trust and confidence. My swing was reflective of that. was stopping my swing and not swinging through the ball.
and I’d had enough of that bullshit. I am not settling for that. I need to be better. I will be better. I am better. And it really spawned the drive to create this and make this happen. So I’m grateful for you listening. I hope you found immense value in today’s discussion. I remind you that question that you really need to dig into an answer to recreate this identity is who do you need to become to achieve whatever it is
golfing, business, marriage, parenting or other goal is in life. Focus on the identity, reverse engineer every aspect of your identity, your behaviors, habits and non -negotiables, your beliefs, your thoughts, your word choice, your self -talk, get very clear and then start embodying each of those every single day.
Well, thank you again for listening to another episode of the scratch golfers mindset podcast. If you found today valuable, share it with a fellow golfing buddy. Take 30 seconds to leave a rating and review on Apple podcasts, Spotify, wherever you are listening to today’s show. It means the world to me and goes a long way in helping me continue to achieve one of my goals, which is growing this show.
Paul Salter | The Golf Hypnotherapist (31:43.308)
Have a fantastic day, an incredible round ahead, and I’ll catch you in the next episode.
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PAUL SALTER
Paul Salter - known as The Golf Hypnotherapist - is a High-Performance Mindset Coach who leverages hypnosis and powerful subconscious reprogramming techniques to help golfers of all ages and skill levels overcome the mental hazards of their minds so they shoot lower scores and play to their potential.